Kiss Your Life Goodbye
by Sinful Existence
Summary: He saw for a moment the life he could have with her, but it wasn't nearly as precious to him as the life she could have without him. One-shot story based off the movie.


So I watched V for Vendetta for the first time the other day. Boy, do I feel behind on movies, lol. The scene at the train when Evey kisses V's mask was beautiful, but I couldn't help feeling like I wanted more out of it. So that's where this little short came from. It's not going to deviate from the end of the original scene, but I altered the little middle bits. I hope it's enjoyable, short as it is. Obvious as it is, I have to mention this is based off the movie universe and not the comic.

I'm going to post another chapter of Sleeping Awake soon. I'm sorry it's taken so long and I didn't mean to get side tracked with this. But to be honest, my most recent chapter is giving me issues. I've thrown it out and started from scratch several times because I just can't get happy with it. I'll release it as soon as I feel it's ready.

As with all my fics, I was listening to mood music again for this one. Evey Reborn from the V for Vendetta OST if anyone cares.

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His footsteps were sure as he left the train, intending to leave her with his words and hope that maybe her choice and his desires would coincide. Regardless of what Evey chose to do with the train, his number was up and he had a date with Sutler.

At least, he had that resolve until he heard her voice, curious and almost... worried? His steps slowed to a halt as he turned his head slightly to gaze at her. He wanted to keep her in the dark about this. A part of him was worried she might try to stop him. However, he _did_ promise her no more lies that night, only truth.

"The time has come for me to meet my maker and to repay him in kind for all he's done," he kept his voice as even as possible, though a little bitterness couldn't help but color his tone at the idea of 'his maker'. His maker who allowed such things to fall upon him. For this fate that could not include this woman who turned his world upside-down. At that thought, he gave her a slight nod and made for the exit again. To escape her before-

"V, wait!"

-before that.

"Please, you don't have to do this."

Despite his better judgment he turned to face her as she rushed over toward him, her voice and eyes pleading as she looked up at him and took hold of his coat, "You could let it go. We could leave here together."

He closed his eyes behind the mask, trying to steady himself against her offer. Her temptation. He'd sought this day for so long. The only mark in his otherwise flawless plan was the woman standing here, giving him an offer he couldn't help but let dance in his mind. He tried to shake it off, "No. You were right about what I am. I have no tree waiting for me. All I want, all I deserve, is at the end of that tunnel."

He could see the pain in her eyes and regretted the truth once again, but maybe this would help put some distance up. Maybe distant was how he needed to play this.

He could see her eyes growing red with the need to cry and tried hard to hold his stance, though instead of pull away, she stepped closer, "That's not true." She hesitated, as if unsure if he would stop her, then leaned toward him and up to reach his face, her hands taking hold of the sides of his mask as she leaned up and planted a kiss on his 'lips'.

He had thought Evey had turned his world upside-down before, but he realized now he was wrong. She had shaken it. Moved things, broke things, but until now he had never known what it really was to have your world turned on its head. Even with the mask in the way he could feel the warmth of her breath through the thin slit in the mouth of the mask. He could almost feel the passion she was obviously giving to him.

She pulled back slowly after a moment and looked up at him, searching the unmoving mask for some sign that maybe she'd gotten through to him somehow. He felt his resolve wavering. More than that, he felt a desire for something he had no rights to. His head was swimming with indecision as he tried to process what he wanted to do and what he had to do. He needed to go to the end of that tunnel. He needed to embrace the death he'd been waiting on for twenty years.

What he wanted, however...

He looked down at Evey, his jaw clenching. It was selfish of him. It was beyond selfish and yet, did a dying man not deserve a last request? One last indulgence? Even if it would further break Evey's heart.

His voice barely came out more than a whisper, "Evey, close your eyes."

Suspicion came to her eyes immediately. Was he going to leave?

He saw this and reached out to grab her shoulders softly, pulling her in a bit closer to his body, "I promise this isn't a trick, Evey. Only truth, remember? Please close your eyes."

She gave him a last look before closing her eyes, feeling uneasy. One of his hands left her shoulder. It was only the other hand squeezing slightly on her other shoulder that kept her from lunging or opening her eyes.

After a moment, something warm touched her lips. She felt a jolt of shock and realized it was _his_ lips. Not the mask, but his actual mouth upon hers. The kiss was soft and tentative, as if afraid. She wondered if he was afraid of her pulling away from him. In response to his nervousness, she leaned into the kiss. His lips were smooth, far smoother than she thought they should be. Her mind went back to that time in the kitchen, at how badly his hands were burned. Was his whole body like that? Is that why his lips felt like that? She didn't find it unpleasant, however. On the contrary, she couldn't help but feel tears building up under her eyes. Tears because she was overcome with emotion at this gesture. That he'd take off his mask, even a little, to be closer to her. She could feel it still on his face to an extent, pressing against her nose a bit. He'd only lifted it far enough to expose his mouth, but it was more than enough. She could daresay it was one of the most trusting gestures he'd ever made toward her.

He, on the other hand, felt it was one of the most selfish he'd imposed on her. He was afraid of what his touch would do. Her eyes were closed but surely she could feel something was off. He kept the kiss light despite his passion for her. To give her a way out if this was really that repulsive to her. He was surprised that she'd leaned into the kiss. He knew his Evey was oddly accepting of him, but he hadn't thought...

He couldn't help himself past that point. His hands came up to cup the sides of her face as he kissed her for all his worth. The sudden passion from an otherwise composed man surprised her but she only answered in kind, her fingers gripping the front of his shirt as if letting go of him might cause her to fall. Her lips parted and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, though she noticed that as when he first initiated the kiss, his initial actions were slower, giving her time to pull away if he pushed his limits too far.

Her response was to grab the back of his head, her fingers threading in his wig and pulling him closer as her tongue sought his out. He kissed her in earnest after that and for a brief moment that's all there was for them. The train was gone, the crowds above were gone, his vengeance was gone, November fifth was gone... the only thing was this man and this woman, clinging desperately together as they felt their future together slip from their fingers.

For a moment, he could see it all behind his singed eyelids. He could see himself sending the train off and leaving with Evey. He could see that Sutler would likely meet his demise without V's help. Creedy would see to that. He could later take care of Creedy and that would be the end of it. He could go with Evey somewhere that they could live out their days and see this new world that would be created. He could dance with her more, keep her close to him. Keep her safe always.

Eventually his lips pulled from hers. He could feel her resist, feel her leaning in closer and trying to cling to him to keep him close. He wondered if she felt the same as he did. If she was seeing the same life they could have had and like him was seeing it fall through the cracks with every inch his lips left hers.

He could tell the denial was still strong within her. She believed they could have that life, but he'd lived too long with this weight for even someone as special to him as Evey to be able to cleanse him in the mere span of a year. He knew the truth. That they'd pretty much be in hiding for the rest of their lives, or at least he would. He would never be able to walk among other men, he'd never be able to get a real job. He'd never be a real person. He knew it didn't matter to Evey, he could see that now. He could see her agreeing to hide with him. To stay by his side and hide with him until they grew old.

That wasn't the life he wanted for her, though. She was still quite young and beautiful. She was strong now, far stronger than when he'd met her. She could still find someone to fall in love with, have a family, be able to walk with her family in public without shame or judgment. He had no life left to live, but she did. He'd be damned if he dragged her down with him. He'd done enough to her already.

By the time her eyes fluttered open, his mask was back in place. He could see it in her eyes now. She was still resisting but there was a part of her deep down that finally realized how hopeless it was to beg him to stay. She felt somewhere in that kiss that it wasn't him giving in to her requests. It was him saying goodbye. It was him indulging his heart in what he always denied it.

Still, she felt herself asking once more, her voice hoarse as the tears she'd been fighting tried to force their way out, "Please... just stay. Come with me."

He gazed down at her through the mask, committing her face to memory. It was the last thing he wanted imprinted in his mind before he left. The beautiful soulmate he was leaving behind. No... he supposed she would be the one to walk on ahead without him. She would resent this, it would sadden her... but she would live. The healing could come later and that's what mattered most to him.

_Goodbye, Evey._

He muttered softly, "I can't." With that, he tore himself back from her grip and fled down the tunnel. She didn't follow him this time. No matter how much she pleaded with him, she could feel this time that it was no use. He was set in his mind. She whispered to the empty tunnel, "I'll never in my life forget you."

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End.


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